Well, I haven't written a journal entry in almost a year (literally this time lol!) Anyways, I've been dealing with rejection and thinking about the meaning of life lately.I was in love but am now kicked out of it. Is it just getting up to dull monotony of school and a job just to have the old American ideal big house, big car, two kids and a wife and all that jazz? Is that what we strive for, what do we leave then if we have all that, does that bring happiness? Love will tear us apart. It seems that Joy Division has been a band that has been speaking to me lately, it makes sense if you hear the lyrics. I wish I were a New York poster boy like Lou Reed, then I could take the sufferings of the city and hang it to my soul. Life is but one battleground of existence, I am but a midnightly man, this world is a world to power and nothing besides, as a German philosopher (those in my circle know who I'm talking about). The year is almost over, it's been a trial and I'm still alive. I once thought I'd just drop out of society but it just merely catches up to you in the end. No Exit... I live on the fringes, on the edge of midnight, where sunrise and night are but a blend. I am lucky to have the few friends that I do who show me the other side of life, one underneath this grey exterior.